Life above the Mat, at the Launderette
I call it the Sultry Suds, it can be interesting,
I live above the Laundromat
It’s where I met my boyfriend at
Where I meet all my friends, and
My best friend, I fell in love there too.
It’s a place where I can share stories
And do more than just a load at time,
It’s a pub and suds, if you’d like to pop in,
For some fun, sometime.
People come here for a wash and a buzz,
It’s close to where Jim Bob lives at,
He helps serve and drinks the malt and ales,
Helps for what ails you too, and anything else
If you might want to drink and talk about it.
Well, I have been trying to buy a terraced house
I found one in The UK after I moved there
After living in America or something like
Or at least that is where I come from.
Jim Bob Chuck insisted he wanted to meet up
Give me a place to stay temporarily, not permanent
It wasn’t a marriage or something like it,
But, I didn’t plan about things working out like that.
So as he insisted on talking last night when he came by
The Sultry Suds for a stiff one, wanting to try life out
So we got to drinking and Jim Bob got buzzed
Before long, we crawled out of there, sorted out
We both just laughed.
Anyways, we went upstairs, he talked me to
I told him about How hard it is in the UK to buy
Property or anything else as a matter of fact
One agency said, I need a Visa and a real job
With an enormous bank account.
So what am I suppose do I do with that,
Pay taxes on it or something like that,
And I’m not married, you’d think it was a crime,
Or worse like I have two heads on
Or something like that, I said.
“What do you I am ” JPMorgan Manhattan Chase Bank”
They think I’m going to Laundry money or something like that,
“You can’t get a mortgage like that in America,
All you need there is good credit, I said.
“Go for it”, Jim Bob said; Open up a big fat roll with Barkley’s
Let them send you a Form 10-99 at tax time
And I said, “Finally” maybe, I’ll have some of that I said.
But that was enough talking about it, so I did it.
Anyway moving on, when I fought all the battles
It was not the only one going on, they are so slow here
Just as much as I, we were barely holding on, waiting.
We just laughed and we smiled, just wondering
About how they sort it all out here, and
Why is there ten jobs per one task here,
And that’s all I have to say about that.
How about it, it’s the first time,
I’d ever seen anything like that,
I never owned property in the UK before,
You can have a business here, but not a house,
I just don’t get it…so heavy that is,
And that’s all I know about that.
So life goes on, Life above the Launderette,
It ain’t so bad, because I love Jim Bob,
And he loves me and it feels good too,
To have someone and something like that,
Life is picture perfect, still laughing about that
If you know what I mean.