Life above the Mat, in the Launderette
At the Sultry Suds, it can be interesting,
I lived above the Laundromat
It’s where I met my boyfriend at;
Where I meet all my friends,
My best friend too,
It’s where I fell in love,
Living life above.
It’s a place where we can share stories
And do more than just a load at time,
It’s a pub & suds if you’d like to pop in,
For some fun, sometime.
People come here to wash and buzz,
It’s close to where Jim Bob lives at,
He helps serve and drinks the malt and ales,
Helps for what ails you too, and anything else
If you might want to drink and talk about it.
Well, I got married, met his mum
And family maybe it seems
We had a ceremony
At the Registers office or
Something like that.
So I said yep. It’s true
I said I do and he did too
So now we are going on honeymoon
For a stiff one, wanting to try it out.
After that we will get to drinking
Once Jim Bob gets to pouring,
Before long, we were still able to
To do it like that, he likes me on top,
I like to rub it in except not in a fleabag bed and breakfast.
I’ll just have a cigarette, shot of vodka
Then we can laugh afterward.
Anyways, we went to go on honeymoon, going to Asia,
Left for hotel for Heathrow
Occasionally he says, “I can do it
And I said, I like it a lot.
Now that we’re on newlyweds
To do it like that, except his passport was out of date and we couldn’t go, they wouldn’t let us on the plane
Or something like that.
So then we had to stay in central London another night with no reservation.
It was four days before Christmas, we found a fleabag bed and breakfast of sorts
A Middle Eastern Asian Russian kind maybe.
“Who do you think I am, Charles Dickens or something
Or some charity sex maniac like that,” I said.
“It’s not so bad,” Jim Bob said;
One night above the Mat in the London Slums
Never hurt no one…,” he said,
“And I won’t even make you have sex tonight if you don’t want to,”
And I said, “well I guess; alright then”
Maybe, I’ll just keep my clothes on too, I guess,” I said.
But that was enough talking about it. I didn’t really want to do it,
So I just gave him a quick blowjob.
We just laugh it about it now and that’s all I have to say about that.
Except that he wanted me to pretend I was a street ho And he was my pimp with him.
Or something like that.
Whatever that means, long as I don’t have to be like pimped out if you know what I mean.
I guess it will be alright.
How about that, it’s the first time, I’d ever seen anything like that,
I never been to the slums
A ghetto slut in my own bed before
And that’s all I know about that.
So life goes on, Life above the Launderette,
It’s not so bad, because I love Jim Bob,
And he loves me and it feels good too,
To have someone to be married to or something like that,
Life can be good like that, playing
And we’re still laughing about it;
If you know what I mean.